To understand Dubya’s ‘landslide’ victory over JFK, one must be conversant with American moral values. After focusing so much attention on the quagmire in Iraq, the November surprise was that the Mess on Potamia didn’t matter. While the Democrats were busy criticizing Bush’s economic record, Karl Rove saved the day with a strategic assault by a ragtag army of evangelicals - driven by a missionary zeal to save America’s very soul.
Nothing less than the moral health of the nation was at stake in this election. Domestic and foreign challenges took a back seat to a holy crusade. Concerns about wars abroad and budget deficits in Washington were just diversions to blind us from scrutinizing the devil’s work in our own back yards.
Decent Americans took a look around and were repulsed by the decadent reality of our social landscape. It is easy enough to see why they did what they had to do at the ballot box. In schoolyards from coast to coast, abortion clinics openly solicit clients. Devious unscrupulous scientists are agitating for laws to sanction diabolical stem cell research. Instead of being content to live in sin, hordes of gay couples are assaulting city halls from Tallahassee to Austin in their quest for marriage licenses.
Debauchery haunts the land and pimps seduce our young women into white slavery rings. We can’t construct prison cells fast enough to warehouse our social misfits and miscreants. Yet, the social rebels would have us divert resources to build clinics for the illegitimate children of felons. Drugs are being force-fed to our kids a block away from police stations. But the domestic forces of darkness are against policing our northern borders. They would rather protect Canadian pharmaceutical smugglers who scam our elderly and use their illicit profits to finance terror cells from Bogota to Timbuktu.
George Bush was re-elected to put moral values back where they belong - in the bedroom. While our boys are shedding their blood to secure liberty in Iraq - young Americans are indulging themselves in nihilistic life styles that tear at our social fabric. In the home of the brave, Dubya will not allow the abuse of freedom to denigrate the sacrifices of our marines in Fallujah.
The signs are clear. If we are not vigilant, America is destined for Armageddon. The battle for morality in America is nothing less than a battle for national security. This is exactly what the Left Coast residents of Sodom and Gomorra can’t seem to grasp.
Now, make no mistake - we should all welcome the rapture and the day of judgement. But prudence demands that we roll out the red carpet for the Second Coming at a reasonable distance from America’s heartland. For this reason, we support a foreign policy designed to torch the Middle East - before we bring celestial calamity to the Mid West.
The choices are simple and plain for anyone who is not blinded by earthly temptations. We can do Armageddon over here or we can do it over there. We can invite hellfire to our shores. Or we can watch the end of times unfold on FOX News in the comfort of our homes and in the loving embrace of our precious families.
Outsiders and those of weaker faith have a difficult time coming to terms with our obsession with earthly wealth - even as we labor to usher in the rapture. The French are confused about our apparent confusion. They don’t understand that if you work on Saturday, you should live better on Sunday. God showers his benevolence on those who refuse to indulge in earthly sin. He wants us to live in comfort till he figures out an appropriate time slot for the final days.
Those who denigrate our agenda are constantly probing our motives. Do we want Armageddon or don’t we? Why ward off the domestic armies of vice that invite doom to our front lawn - while promoting hawkish military interventions to unleash hell fire in the desolate sands of the Arabian homeland? Why encourage Sharon’s vicious repression of the Palestinians in the Holy Land while converting America into a safe and cozy garrison state? Doesn’t the whole human race deserve equal exposure to the coming Apocalypse? Many unjustly accuse us of being indifferent to the sufferings of the Palestinians. They are wrong. We merely put their pain into context. The native people of the Holy Land should be honored to bear the burdens of mankind and be the first to experience the joys of Armageddon. Better them than us.
The question has never been whether Armageddon is coming. Rather, it is where and when. As patriots, we bask in the blessings of being Americans. And we are obliged to do everything in our power to secure the safety and welfare of all our citizens - including our sinners. So, we ask ourselves the hard questions. What if we are mistaken about the timing? What if we are seeing false signs? What if the Second Coming is meant for another generation of Americans? Do we have the right to expropriate their spiritual inheritance? Doesn’t it make sense to experiment with Armageddon scenarios in a place that does not endanger the welfare of the nation - away from our sacred borders?
As Patton used to say to his soldiers “I don’t want you to die for your country - I want the other SOB to die for his country.” We don’t have the right in a democratic society to invite war and pestilence to our shores - especially when we have convenient exotic locations to stage a trial run for the last days.
In the Middle East, our Muslim brothers share our belief in Armageddon. They too look at our state of moral decay and see signs of the last days. So, they should be the first to welcome our efforts to bring it on - in their space. Besides, if we are mistaken about the timing, what can they possibly do? Sue us for religious malpractice?
To paraphrase Patton: We don’t want our fellow Americans to be the victims of celestial hell fire, we want the other SOB to endure the wrath of the Lord. For our foreign detractors we have a simple message. As a society structured on deeply held moral values, we Americans welcome Armageddon at any time. At your place, not mine.